It's rare for a marriage to dissolve without experiencing any disagreements or consternations. This may be why so many matters end up in front of a court, where judges must decide how to settle everything and distribute the property. Yet it's far better to resolve issues informally, and it can undoubtedly be less traumatic than having to go in front of those judges. If you're in this unfortunate position, you should try to go through a mediation process, but how difficult is this, and how should you approach it?
Getting Initial Advice
Most people in this situation will be completely unfamiliar with any process, but they want to handle everything correctly from the outset. If you feel this way, you should first seek legal advice from an experienced family lawyer who will listen to where you are in your discussions with your former partner and provide some feedback. Most crucially, they know how the mediation process works and will give you some tips to help you succeed during those discussions.
Choosing Your Mediator
You and your ex-spuouse will need to choose your mediator, and both of you need to be happy with your pick. There are many qualified professionals, but they may each have their own style and come with different levels of experience. Choose a person with whom you feel most comfortable with and will likely help you achieve a good outcome.
Being Flexible
You may have had discussions with your former partner in recent weeks and are aware of disagreements or disputes. While you may consider some of these situations to be red lines, it's best to be as flexible as possible while preparing. Certainly, you should be clear about your objectives, but you may need to think laterally to come up with some alternatives. Again, you can talk these through with your lawyer, and they may be able to give you another view on the matter.
Picking Your Battles
Crucially, you have to focus on the bigger picture and need to know your priorities. It's best if you don't get bogged down talking about more minor details and derail the entire process.
Remember, if you are realistic and somewhat flexible, you are more likely to succeed during mediation. Of course, the same applies to your former partner, but you cannot control how they behave in this situation. In every case, aim to keep your emotions in check and approach mediation from a professional point of view.
Leaning on Your Lawyer
Don't forget to discuss the process with your family lawyer so that you can stand the best chance of success. To learn more, contact a family law law firm near you.
Share29 June 2022
My dad died when I was still pretty young so it's been a big surprise all the stuff I've had to do to sort out his estate. I'm an only child and my folks divorced when I was a baby so most of the work fell to me. He was kind of disorganised and grumpy, but at least he'd spoken to his lawyer and got a proper will drawn up which saved on confusion at a tricky time. If you are a young person dealing with the estate of a deceased parent, this blog is designed to help you navigate the legal processes.